The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
