She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
