The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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