Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Drunk is not a location!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
