dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
