I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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