Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
His nipple licking is glorious
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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