Swine flu. Run for my life!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
