I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
