yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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