I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
