He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
