Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Ketchup is God's man juice
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
