New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
