you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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