If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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