so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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