Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
