You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
