I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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