the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
