Got a toothbrush?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
