If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
