why didn't you poke me back
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
