Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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