pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
