I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
