Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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