WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
