i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
