I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
