you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
