Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
