I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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