Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
