I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
50% drunk capacity currently
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
