a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
