those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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