On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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