I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
