I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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