What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
