My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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