So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
