You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
