So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
