i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
