New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
