I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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