Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
