That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
