there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
