is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
